Mila
L.Dvoretskaya ( milochka99@nursat.kz )
Psychological Effects of
M-State Elements
«About
In that place, where I sat, I have seen a place, which
one, maybe, was of meters two hundred in diameter and looked a right ring. The
bushy scrubs covered its surface, masking off boulders. I would not note its
committed circularity, if Don Khuan has not pointed to me it.
He has told there are a lot of such places, are
straggled in an old world Indian, they are not necessarily were places of
power, as some hills or mining formations, which one were dwelling of perfume,
but they are places of an enlightenment, where the person can learn, where it
is possible find solutions of problems...»
K.Kastaneda
Working with the sticks,
which were charged by m-state elements (see "A
Place of POWER"),
I paid more attention to their physical visible effect on my organism at first.
However 2-3 days of work with the sticks later other influence, latent from an
outside eye had appeared too. The first time all old insults have emerged, even
not real insults, but the situations, where I should had been offended, but I
had not done it in the past. However now every possible injustice of one year
prescription have risen before my eyes, as it had happened only yesterday. I
had to work hard to release them, because the unpleasant situations returned
and returned into my head, I praised much and spent a huge amount of energy to
return spiritual calmness.
However troubles began to
happen in real time too. My journalistic work suddenly became only work,
instead of interesting creative process with all implying from here
consequences. The main editor began persistently trying to find out, what was
happening with me, and why I had started to work so carelessly. But there was
not any negligence there, on the contrary, I spent for writing articles considerably
lot of time, applied extreme gains to make them interesting, but all was in
vain. I simply did not see, what was necessary to do another way!
The understanding had come
a little bit later - JUST ALL THIS PETTY INTRIGUES WITH CHEATING AND OTHER REALITIES
OF OUR EVERYDAY ACTIVITIES HAD CEASED TO BE INTERESTING FOR ME! The circle of
values was displaced somewhere deep into me, I seemed to myself like a vessel,
filled up to the edges, but there was no wish to divide this magic filling with
anybody! The feeling of self-sufficiency, self-value and integrity, which were
unknown earlier had appeared, I got a feeling that I had already had
everything, and to wish something else was simply superfluous …
However literary
creativity, which has ceased to be by necessity (for me it was normal when I
could not live a day without some writing), have left on the second plan, but I
wanted to make something by hands very much. I began to knit and to embroider
again, and, most interesting, I started to model from clay and materials like
this. I have never tried to do it before and had not skills but I made quite
lovely things. I also wished to paint, but I haven't started this art yet, I am
scared that it is too complicated for me, but I continue modelling until now (4
months later after ending systematic experiments with the sticks).
I also work as a
speechpsychologist in the kindergarten. After taking part in experience with
m-state charged sticks I started to understand my pupils surprisengly well, it
looks like I just FEEL what they need. I got some inner desire (or conviction,
I do not know how to express it better) to help children, to do my best. And it
goes somewhere from within, it is not necessary to do any efforts. I got really
unexpected results with my speech-psychology work, it is arriving that what
can't be done! For example, one child has at a very short fraenum under his
tangue, he CAN'T be taught to pronounce the sound "R" (in Russian we
pronounce it different way using the top of our toungue trembling near the
upper alveolus), but he has started to do it! How could I get it - I can't
explain. The same situation I have with other children - the sounds appear
themselves, I only do spadework for making this sound, and it already appears
itself...
During my work with the
sticks, when I went along the street, I caught myself on the feeling that other
people DID NOT SEE ME! It was rather strange, because I am very bright woman
and I always have a lot of attention. But most interesting thing was that this
obscurity was not unpleasant to me, I perceived it as the reality and it quite
suited me. All external simply has ceased to be important for me…
But most interesting and
wonderful was a sensation of internal silence, absence of thoughts. That what
was managed for couple of minutes as a result of many hours' meditations has
occurred now itself, and I didn't like at all to disturb this silence by any
cares about work and other "trivialities". But it was not absolute
silence, divine music without words sounded inside me! I sang (my soul sang)
constantly, even being slept.
And here it is necessary to
tell about dreams separately - in the musical dreams all actions consisted of
listening to music. Attempts to sing it after waking up failed … I had an
orchestra with a set of violins and the brasses playing smooth and very
melodious tunes at my head. Sometimes I heard chorus of voices, which sang the
tunes without words. And today (4 months after the ending the systematic
experiments with the sticks) I composed music in dream myself, and then I sang
that song. By the way, the words were mine too. I could write the first verse
after waking up, but what is it without music?….
… It was a very pity, when
my head has begun to fill in by thoughts. I wished to dismiss them again, but
there was not customary vain swarm any more. The feeling of integrity and
self-value remained, sometimes it is infringed, but it is possible to restore
it without big work.
…Now there is a period of
creativity, which I have never had before. The plots are born from anywhere and
they are really good. I write soulful article with instructive moments. There
are so many plots in my head that I have no time to realize them all.
The articles are
interesting for me, while I write them, and then they live by independent life.
When I read them (especially if they have been published a bit later), they
seem not to be mine...
The interesting
modifications had taken place with my desires. I mean I practically don't have
any. I am talking first of all about desires to get something material, but
this is true for non-material substances too. It is enough just to think about
possessing something (I have no time to want to posses something yet), and
circumstances go such a way I get it! I even have some feeling of
disappointment because there is no time to enjoy a purchase! Before Christmas
and New Year my son vexed me by the questions what I would like to get as a
gift. That time I have understood (to my huge surprise), that I do not want
anything especial, I just live and everything goes right.
I started to get some
fragments of texts or books in dreams, but I couldn't remember them in the
morning. This is more remote consequences of work with m-state elements, which
are seen 4 months later after everyday's work with the sticks. Now I only
sometimes take m-state stick in hands (1 or 2 times per a week) when I feel
ill. Oh, yes, my friends noticed, that I started "to shine" more
often, " to radiate warmly " (my friends' words). As they said I became
very open to a mutual worth dialogue, I got ready to give a pleasure to the
people, receiving the same from them. There were the words of my friends, as I
said, I myself don't feel so precisely, I feel being in a good mood and that is
all.
In addition see "Use Effects of Subjects "Places
of Power""
http://www.subtleenergies.com/ormus/tw/twdiary.htm
http://www.subtleenergies.com/ormus/tw/twdiary4.htm
http://www.subtleenergies.com/ormus/tw/sinktrap.htm
http://www.subtleenergies.com/ormus/tw/d's_report.htm
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You can buy a complete set of
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